Being a mom

I have always known I wanted to be a mom. Even though I love kids I had absolutely no idea of what being a mom would be like. When I was younger I thought that I would love to be with my kids but that I would probably work part time to keep myself busy. I went to school and got my bachelors degree to prepare to work. After finding I was pregnant I still planned to continue school immediately. As I received my acceptance letter to grad school I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be. It didn't feel right. So I decided to put school off a few years and just be a mom for a while. I also lefty job around this point to "just be a mom". What a scary idea. No running around scheduling clients, going to class, doing hours of homework, or spending everyday with peers. Just being a mom. When Kennedy first arrived, being a mom was very hard. Though I was always busy it just didn't feel the same as the busy I was before. At the end of the day I'd look around and feel as if is accomplished nothing. Of be lying to say this was easy. Eventually I started trying to schedule my days instead of just doing what needed to be done in the moment and this helped a little. It got easier and easier as time went on. Now 15 months later I love being a mom more than anything! It is the hardest and most rewarding job I've ever had. It is the hardest because I receive no praise for good job. Working harder doesn't bring me a raise or make people like me more. My patience is tried daily and the most seemingly unimportant things become important. But the love that I feel for my baby boy and the happiness that spending my days with him give me are incomparable to any praise I could ever receive at a job. Though I will likely finish school before long and work a little, I think that being a mother is absolutely my calling and will first and foremost be my main job. I'll never say it's easy, but I will never look back in regret.